My Biggest Story Of The Year 2019

MY BIGGEST STORY of the year..

I’ll be on a casual schedule beginning next week..
Afterwards, it will be sporadic until after the start of 2020..

With that: Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays & Happy New Year in advance..!

What was the biggest story of 2019..?

We might all have different answers for that..

However, a friend - Justin Bariso wrote the 87th "most engaging story" in the world this year, according to a data analytics company called Chartbeat..

While we’re at it..
Here’s my personal number - 1 story from all of 2019.. I never would have predicted the popularity of this one..

When I was 17, I had no idea who I wanted to be.. I was about to leave home & start my University education & the only thing I knew was that the future was uncertain..

Before I left, I tried to fight my nervosity in many ways.. I read everything I could get my hands on that seemed relevant to my chosen academic field - a mix of medical health & industrialization.. I read through the institution handbook & prepared myself in advance & I sought reassurance from my friends that I’d chosen a good school & degree(course of study)..

In the end, what helped me the most was an exercise you could file under "youthful  naïveté" - I grabbed a pen & I  wrote down in a jotter - "my  guiding principles"..

Most of them were simple, like "Let go what must be let go".. "Simplify"..
And, "Have no secrets".. etc

I still have the list somewhere in my books-cabinet..

So why was I naive to create it then..?

First of all, I didn’t know that what I’d come up with were not actually principles.. They were just rules..

The difference between a rule & a principle is that one is merely a guideline that follows from the other.. Principles don’t break.. They’re universal..

For example, Gravity is a principle - whether it’s you who falls from a skyscraper, your cat, or a 17th century vase, it’s not gonna end well.. Gravity makes no exceptions..

In order to deal with principles, we have rules..
"Don’t jump off skyscrapers" is a rule & a good one at that.. Unlike principles, however, rules break all the time..
Often, it’s us doing the breaking  & often prematurely..

Eventually, however, even the best rules expire.. It’s part of their design.. Once they no longer serve their function, they’re meant to be broken..

"Don’t go faster than 30 miles per hour" is a rule..
It’s useful on a poorly built road, but once that road becomes a highway, it must be updated..

That’s the second reason my list was premature..

In the past years since I wrote them down, I have broken every single one of my rules..
And yet, I’m still glad I wrote that list..

You know why..?

Because the idea that I wanted to live by some rules - despite not knowing which ones or how or why - was enough..

It didn’t matter that the list was arbitrary.. What mattered was that it sent me on a path where I would look for rules & principles everywhere, learn to tell the difference & continue to build my life around them as I went..

Today, what I’m most interested in is neither principles nor rules, but what lives in-between.. That’s one of the many lessons I learned along the way:

👉 Each rule may have a lifecycle, but that cycle can repeat many times in one life.. So if a rule somehow keeps reappearing, keeps proving itself as useful & continues to hurt if I break it, that rule catches my attention..

Such rules have extended validity & therefore live right between normal guidelines & the base layer of principles.. I guess we could call them ‘cardinal rules’..
As you can imagine, they’re hard to come by..

Luckily, I found some..

🔥 The 7 Cardinal Rules of Life..

In 1995, Studio Ghibli, a Japanese anime company, released a movie called Whisper of the Heart..

It’s about two high school students struggling with their artistic callings, their feelings for each other & coming of age..

About a decade ago, someone extracted seven rules from the film & released them online.. The original source remains lost, but they’ve been making the rounds ever since..

Like my own rules, they’re all quite simple, but much closer to timeless principles.. So whoever you are that extracted these rules from the film, wherever you sit: Thank you 🙏..

Thank you for giving us - The 7 Cardinal Rules of Life 👉

🌠 Make peace with your past so it won’t mess with your present..

Bill Gates says the worst day in his life was the day his mother died.. It’s a simple reminder that we all have regrets..

We all keep past versions of ourselves in a closet somewhere & every time we open it, we feel pain & suffering.. We can’t change the people we once were, but we can make peace with them.. Open the closet & let in some light.. Reconcile..
Otherwise, our past will forever be a drag on our heels..

Life is but a series of fleeting moments, one forever chasing the next.. The only place where you can live, act & make a difference is the present.. Today..

🌠 Time heals everything, so give it time..

Sometimes, you can’t find the power to move on immediately.. Sometimes, you really want to kick yourself.. That too is part of life.. What you can do is allow time to pass..

I know you want to just fix everything & move on, but if you stitch a wound poorly, it’ll get worse down the road.. So take time.. Take care of yourself.. Your health.. Your broken heart & broken parts..

Sometimes, even what heals leaves a scar.. Those will be with us forever.. The least we can do is let them mend properly..

🌠 What others think of you is none of your business..

Most of our scars come from wounds inflicted by other people.. Words can hurt us more than weapons.. But it’s not your job to imagine what arrows people might point at you inside their heads.. The majority will never fire..

🌠 Don’t compare your life to others & don’t judge them..

Instead of taking shots at others, most people decide to draw up & lose at - another imagined game: Who’s better..?

It’s a moot question.. We have no idea what anyone’s story is like up to the page on which we meet them..

Mark Twain said, "Comparison is the death of joy"..
Worse, it’s also the birth of misery.. The less you compare, the bigger your capacity for empathy.. Meet people on their own terms.. You won’t doubt yourself as much & be less prone to jealousy, which only leads to fear, anger, hate & suffering..

🌠 Stop thinking so much, it’s alright not to know the answers..

If you’re not supposed to think about others, nor what they think, what are you supposed to mull over..?
What you think of yourself..?

Actually, it’s fine to not think so much at all.. Answers often come to you when you least expect it..

Make your choices.. Choose a path.. Be determined.. Commit..
But, once you have, let the chips fall where they may.. You’ll know when to take a different fork in the road..

🌠 No one is in charge of your happiness, except you..

At the end of the day, what you desire most in life only you can give to yourself.. You already have everything.. Right inside.. Feel your heart.. Point at your chest.. There.. That’s where happiness is..

We spend all this time looking for something we can’t see because it’s not there.. The outside world is only as good as what you do with everything that happens in it..

Are you cultivating your experiences..? Cherishing them..?

If not, it’s not fuel or oxygen that’s missing.. Only you can relight that fire because it rests deep inside.. Choose to kindle that flame.. Protect it.. Hold up its light & let it shine for everyone to see..

🌠 Smile, for you don’t own all the problems in the world..

Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson has over 160 million fans.. He gets a lot of letters.. But none like Haley Harbottle’s..

Haley has Moebius syndrome.. She’s 22.. She has never smiled in her life.. Haley was supposed to have “smile surgery,” but her anaesthetist made a mistake & she almost died.. Soon, she’ll try it again, hoping to smile for the first time..

There is someone on this planet literally dying to smile.. Yet here we are, you & I, walking around, often choosing not to extend this simple, near-automatic gesture to uplift our fellow human beings..

Whatever problems plague you in your day-to-day life, chances are, they’re not all that important in the grand scheme of things.. We each have our own challenges, but as long as you can smile, do it.. Who knows who you’ll infect..

Remember - Here’s one more thing I’ve learned about rules & principles:
👉 Many rules can follow from one principle, but you can never act on principle alone..

When I was 17, I thought I could rein in the chaos of the world with a few well-chosen guidelines..
I was wrong, but I took a step in the right direction: We can never control the world, but in learning to control ourselves, we can get better at dealing with this fact.. Structure isn’t something we can project on the outside, but if we cultivate it internally, we’ll be ready to make a change when we need to..

That’s what all this rule-setting & principle-discovering taught me: Learning how to live is an ongoing process..
There will always be rules to be updated, principles to be understood better, new ideas to be added to old truths..

We decide who we are in this world not once but with every action we take, every principle we value & every rule we choose to follow.. That is their true purpose: to serve us in our everlasting quest to become..

I don’t know how long the rules from the movie will last for you on this never-ending mission, but, like one of its characters, I’d like to remind you:

"You’re wonderful.. There’s no need to rush.. Please take your time"..

Season Greetings & Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays & Happy New Year in advance..!

Silverland.......

ONE SEASON At A Time

THERE was a man who had four sons.. He wanted his sons to learn not to judge things too quickly.. So he sent them each on a quest, in turn, to go & look at a pear tree that was a great distance away..

The first son went in the winter, the second in the spring, the third in summer, & the youngest son in the fall..

When they had all gone & come back, he called them together to describe what they had seen.. The first son said that the tree was ugly, bent, & twisted..

The second son said no it was covered with green buds & full of promise..

The third son disagreed; he said it was laden with blossoms that smelled so sweet & looked so beautiful, it was the most graceful thing he had ever seen..

The last son disagreed with all of them; he said it was ripe & drooping with fruit, full of life & fulfillment..

The man then explained to his sons that they were all right, because they had each seen but only one season in the tree’s life..
He told them that you cannot judge a tree, or a person, by only one season, & that the essence of who they are & the pleasure, joy, & love that come from that life can only be measured at the end, when all the seasons are up..

If you give up when it’s winter, you will miss the promise of your spring, the beauty of your summer, fulfillment of your fall.. Don’t let the pain of one season destroy the joy of all the rest.. Don’t judge life by one difficult season.. Persevere through the difficult patches & better times are sure to come some time or later..

Get Bessern.......

WHAT makes Life More Enjoyable?

JUST AS EVERYONE has their own definition of 'success,' we all have slightly different ideas of what constitutes a high-quality life..

Life has many ways of testing a person's will, either by having nothing happen at all or by having everything happen all at once..

Research shows, however, that there are some things that make life more enjoyable to virtually all people, things that are more highly correlated with happiness, life satisfaction, a stronger ability to cope with stress, & a higher quality of life in general..

Happily, most or all of these elements can be added to one's lifestyle for little or no money, so virtually everyone can improve their quality of life in these ways:

⚖️ How To Maintain A High Quality Of Life 👉

⚛️ Focus on Relationships That Affirm You..

Our relationships define us in many ways: we tend to become more stressed when we spend too much of our time with people who drain us, undermine us, or who don't support us in other important ways..
Conversely, when we have a supportive social circle to lean on, we enjoy greater resilience toward stress, more happiness, greater levels of wellness, which can be experienced as a higher overall quality of life..

⚛️ Get Enough Sleep (And Practice Other Self-Care Strategies)..

Sleep & other self-care activities are more important than many people realize.. They can be a key to resilience & improved quality of life..
When we don't get enough sleep, or when our other basic physical needs (like the need for proper nutrition or down-time) aren't being met, we can be more reactive toward stress..

This is why self-care is so important, though, ironically, it is often the first thing to go when we become stressed & busy.. Making self-care a priority will benefit you in many ways & will also help you take care of yourself, both physically & psychologically, so you can enjoy life to the fullest..

⚛️ Exercise In Ways You Enjoy..

Join a gym class & build exercise into your lifestyle..
Be sure you choose something that feels fun for you..

Exercise carries benefits that go beyond weight or appearance, though many people start working out because they want to look better.. As a stress reliever, exercise carries strong benefits that work for you both in the short term & the long run -
just 3 minutes of exercise can help relieve stress &
regular exercise builds resilience toward stress..

If you add in the fact that workout activities can be fun & bring you closer to others, there are many reasons to maintain a regular exercise habit that translates into a higher quality of life..
Does it take effort to maintain a workout regimen..?
Yes, often it does..

But if you build the habit into your lifestyle by joining a gym class, having a workout buddy, working out before or after other regular activities in your schedule, it becomes easier to maintain a regular habit.. The following resources can help you make exercise a regular part of your life..

⚛️ Do Work That's Meaningful & Enjoyable To You (Even If It’s A Hobby)..

You can enjoy your job more without leaving it..
One of the elements that many people associate with a high quality of life is meaning - we love engaging in activities that we are not only good at, but that help others or carry some significant meaning for us..

If you are in a career that feels meaningless to you, it may not be possible to make sweeping changes in your career path immediately & there may be other reasons to stay put..
That doesn't mean that you can't still find meaning in your life, either by restructuring your work or by spending time in other activities that are meaningful to you outside of your job..

In fact, by spending time engaged in
gratifications & other flow-producing activities, by infusing more meaning into your work, & just by staying in the moment, you can have more of what is enjoyable & meaningful to you..

⚛️ Stop Your Drains..

If you have a long list of energy drains, simplifying can improve your quality of life by building resilience toward stress..
Most of us have a few things in our lives that drain us of our energy, sometimes without our even realizing it..

Each of these things, known as 'tolerations,' can be mildly to moderately draining on their own, but the stress that they carry adds up.. If we find ourselves devoting energy to these multiple 'drains' in our lives for too long, we can be less resilient toward larger challenges that present themselves, so even if these mild stressors don't carry much of a negative effect much of the time, they can hinder our ability to cope when we need it the most.. They can put a mild-but-constant damper on our energy at other times as well..

The problem with ridding ourselves of these stressors is that we often become so used to them, or so busy with our lives, that addressing them often remains a low priority.. This is why one of the best things we can do to manage them is to become more aware of them.. Then we can create & execute a low-stress plan for stopping the drains once & for all..

Do some of what matters to you..Having fun & doing what you enjoy can help you to maintain energy for other demands you face..
You may spend a lot of time doing important things you have to do, but are you able to do as much of what you want to do..?
If not, you may be enjoying your life less than you could be.. Leisure time is more important than many people realize, both for our stress levels & our overall happiness..

If you make time for things that you truly value or enjoy, you may find yourself more energized & excited about meeting those obligations or at least not dreading them.. Hobbies, personal goals, dreams - make a plan & make time for them.. You'll be glad you did..

Remember - Life has many ways of testing a person's will, either by having nothing happen at all or by having everything happen all at once..

Get Bessern.......